Okay, you know I earn my living as a freelance writer – mostly through ghostwriting books.
Last week I took a totally different kind of freelance writing job because it offered the possibility of predicting income. In other words, if I did X pieces of freelance writing week I’d get $X – do more and I’d make more, etc.
Assuming I was successful, and I expected to be, I could control the income by the amount of work.
This morning the head of the company sent me an email indicating she didn’t really like some of what I’ve done.
You’d have thought she called me an awful person and made me believe it. I was crushed!
Then I was surprised at how I felt – like a rank beginner with my first writing rejection perhaps. (You can see I don’t always practice what I preach. See Rejection – The First Step To Successful Freelance Writing.)
Freelance Writer With Hurt Feelings
Honestly, I don’t know which was worse, the criticism or the tailspin over them I allowed myself to fall into.
Apparently these ego traps are simply part of being human. Of course, I had thought I was doing a decent, if not good job – but I wasn’t matching the owner’s expectations.
Now, she told me nicely and she pointed to what needed to be fixed. Didn’t matter. I was on the edge of a real pity party.
So I did what I do in a situation like that. I called a friend who I knew would listen first without judgement. Then, the friend asked me if I really believed someone else could make me feel badly about myself.
The answer of course is, at least in theory, no. I know I’m responsible for my own feelings, my own reactions.
Respond Rather Than React
I like to think I respond rather than react most of the time, and probably I do. That’s why I haven’t even attempted to reply to the owner yet.
I’m almost through this self-imposed storm. When I look at the email I see that she’s made a whole bunch of suggestions. In fact, I can tell she’d like me to succeed at this. Most people do want the people they hire to succeed. This gal is good at showing that; not everyone is.
My plan is to stretch, then read the email closely and decide if I want to give this another pass or not. My hunch is, however, I’ll see what she means, or at least know what questions to ask.
Image found at http://www.flickr.com/photos/30268343@N00/292679211/