This is great information. Number one is definitely the hardest for me. Talking about money always feels “dirty” in some way. I have to remind myself that I am worth it. I’ve read before that men talk about money differently than women. When you are interviewing writers has that been your experience? Do men tend to be more direct about pricing?
It’s this comment that kicked off the survey Is It Easier For Men To Set Freelance Writing Prices Than Women?
I really appreciate Amelia’s openness and honestly. There are so many mixed messages about money and self-worth in our society. Darren Rowse of Problogger.net fame wrote about self-worth on Google Plus yesterday. So have I, although not about myths about money.
The Money is Dirty Myth
The experience that talking about money feels dirty or nasty or somehow inappropriate can only get the way of making a true living wage writing. The classic antidote is coming to realize that money only represents energy and that when we get paid we’re paid for that exchange of energy. Which is a good way to look at it I think. A client who pays me to ghostwrite a book gets the book – I get the money for the energy I put into the whole process of ghostwriting a book.
It’s not so easy, of course, to change belief systems. And this one seems to be glued to the failure to recognize our worth as a writer.
A Bowl of Self-Esteem
If I could I’d give each and every one of you, and myself, a great big bowl of self-esteem. But it doesn’t work that way. Coming to value our talents, our writing, even our selves is something each one of us must do on their own.
Rowse says that in this society we tend to believe “Personal Worth = What You Achieve + What Others Think of You.” He points out that the major problem with this equation is that it isn’t true.
I truly believe that each of us has an intrinsic worth just because we’re here on the planet. That worth isn’t tied to what we do or who approves of us or not.
Getting in touch with that true value can happen any number of ways from counseling to just noticing the good things we do every day.
Ideas About Money & Self-Worth Linked
My own experience is that as I began to recognize my worth as a human, as I began to accept that I am after all a pretty decent writer, it was way easier for me to put money in it’s proper perspective. It’s just a bunch of paper and coins and now electronic bits that we’ve agreed to use to make our exchanges easier.
For me my view of money and my view of my self have been intricately interwoven. As I’ve unwound one damaging view, the other has also unraveled.
Part of the unraveling for me included Lynn Twists wonderful book, The Soul of Money. Another totally different book that’s been truly helpful for me is How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously by Jerry Mundis. I’ve also been involved in a number of 12 Step groups, spiritual studies and even fire walking as I’ve learned to truly appreciate myself just as I am.
One of the results is that I’ve become truly comfortable setting prices, and talking about money with clients and my family. I’m much more successful as a writer as a result.
By the way, we’ve got a category here called Dealing With Money you may find helpful.
How do you see money and self-worth?